Swear to god will post. Soon.

I've come to the realization that thanks to certain outside influences, who shall remain unnamed, I now have too many games under my belt and as a result I don't know what to play out of fear of starting it and never finishing! Damn they warned me this day would come and I never believed them.

*edit* In other related news, I need more XBOX Live Friends.

So the new years is upon us so I might as well try to write something. First off I resolve to not resolve anything for this coming year. I instead choose to act.


So far I hear everyone I know, or at least give a damn about, is still alive and somewhat good health. Not everyone is happy right now but there is a whole year to improve on that. I myself started the new year on a downer. I was planned and in the process of packing to move to the Bay area. That sadly is now not the case and at the very least it was not my fault things did not go as planned. There will be other opportunities to venture out if I keep a sharp eye open and a keen ear to the ground.

Of course everything in my life is in a odd state of limbo. I'm not really doing anything right now but i'm not screwing myself over in any way either. I have a job, a roof over my head and good people around me. But I'm not at any point pushing any form of boundaries or anything. I really need to change this before the stagnation drives me mad. Worst part would be if this happened and it is all my doing. On the work front at least I think we've so far had a good or at least decent year. Nothing new to really report aside from still having a job after things did not go as planned.


Personally nothing much has changed. People have moved out of the area for reasons outside their control, while others are coming back and decided to sticking around. Personally none of y relationships have changed with the people close by. People further away from me....well I sometimes do wonder where i stand with some people these days. I'm not around enough to mess with my reputation but at the same time they know nothing of if i've evolved in any way. I have no word on if they have also changed . The latter alone could very well make relationships change so it is very concerning about how i still stand with people.

For new people. I've met some nice individuals around late this year. Of course these are people out of my area but that's been nothing new form e. I enjoy talking with them both when I have the opportunity to do so and wish for the chance to hang out with them outside the box of the net. Of course that is all dependent of them so for now I am happy to get to know these people for whom they are before I destroy my reputation in fie minutes of them meeting me =P

My love life is still as complicated as it ever was.


Well that's about it. I'm certain I'll do a follow up post tomorrow morning or later tonight and speak at length about some things but until then I go smeep now.

Eliseo/Kain

Unofficially moving to the Bay Area January of next year. Confirmation to come soon

...and I need a gym regiment. Anyone have any Ideas? Been lost the last couple of trips so I need some help getting started. If anyone can point me toward some good sites or things you do at the gym that would help. Thanks.

I'm having hard time with things right tnow. Not in any financial way or anything but emotionally and in some small physical aspects. Holidays are coming up and some of the people I most want to talk to are so far away the odds o f seeing them are nil between my job and my ability to be there.


Honestly I just miss people, one person in particular. I guess being so far away from everyone I know and love keeps me feeling isolated to the point where its hard to say hi anymore because I know it'll be days, weeks or even months and years before I get the same chance again. I feel alone and my usual medication of video games and internet are wearing off. I'm feeling kinda depressed because of so much happening to some of the people that I love and as usual so many other people I care about are just dots. I don't know whats going on with them. I don't talk to them anymore or they don't answer back.


I dont know. I'm just having a down day and between work and stuff my stress is triggering my insomnia, OCD, depression...all that good stuff.


And to that person, I miss you.

~Sad Kain is Sad

Halloween kinda sucked. Worked the entire day and closed thus was too tired to go out anywhere afterward. No parties and couldn't volunteer at my friends haunted house as I have for the last couple of years. Oh well, next year will be awesome. Especially I'll be working on my costume over the course of the next year.


So life also is drudging along. Narcotizing myself with more new games and the occasional visits by my friends so not much new going on. In fact I wonder why I'm even posting right now. Really I'm just posting so some people just realize i'm still alive. I miss everyone. Home has been boring the moment I got back from Con. I'd really just love to move back to Arizona or to a place with more KoLers again. Or somewhere new where I can start over like San Francisco. Who knows. I just need a change of scenery.


SO it's Election Day. Today is the first time I get to vote in a national election and the first time I vote about a state prop. I care about. Not sure how to feel about all this because both of my pics in this area have a good change of loosing. Especially the prop. I understand why some people would vote the other way, I do. I just cant imagine it actually passing. Then again my opinion of people as a whole is pretty low so while I won't be surprised I will be quite pissed off. Anyway tomorrow/today will be spent mostly sitting in front of CNN after going to vote and waiting on the election results. Maybe using my sisters laptop to blog about em as they come in. Twitter will be useful for that.


Work is a grind. Has, can and will be. Since I'm still getting a paycheck I suppose I cant bitch too much but with the holiday season looming overhead like some giant evil reindeer, I'll sure as hell have reasons to bitch in the near future. This job seriously makes me re-consider the entire notion of children. Granted any kids I have will be raised better (god I hope), I still have this nagging doubt now everytime I hear an eleven year-old ask a stupid question.


Love-life is still as much a question mark as much as it can be. I do thank Facebook for its "It's complicated" relationship status. Such as it boggles my mind as much as I'm not thinking about it.

On the note of buddies I'm slowly making new internet buddies whom I hope to talk with more. New friendships are always a good thing to have and might as well take this time to say Hi to them.


That's all I got for now. Probably add more later.

Got back from Con on Monday. Really the best time I've had in a long while. Well, short of that other time with the thing and the people.

I'm probably sure I'll post the story of events at some other point but I wanna make this quick. I have two episodes of House I gotta watch. ;) Had a good time and was reminded when I ran into people just how much of a social creature I am. Course this is always hampered by my now universally known social ineptitude. This was a problem the last two con's I've attended. This year was a different matter however and made the weekend much more enjoyable on all sides of the board with no complications.


BOOOOOOOZE!

Now. this was not to say that I was plastered the entire trip. Heaven forbid. I was however 'socially lubricated,' to phrase it properly, in order to enjoy being around people. And thank the gods it worked tremendously. There were times where this was not in the realm of possibility and my ability to socialize was compromised of course. This sadly lead to not as much conversation being had at some nights but I guess this means I'll need a hip flask for next year wont I? =D

All plans for the future aside, I did get to see some of the fantastic people that I miss almost every day year round. They know who they are out of not risking the feelings hurt. or at least I would if I didn't remember just how few people actually read my ramblings. *snicker*

These would of course be to name a few, a Wombat, an Allie, the good Dr. Trauma, a lynore, a Poppy, a Skipper, a Riki, a Pykus, a Spec, a Metaphorge.... you know I should stop or this will turn into a list of people I miss. >.> Anyhow you get the idea. there wre a lot of people there I missed who I couldn't name in a single breath. Sadly not all were able to attend and I miss them more now than ever but I'll deal and will just have to kidnap them later wont i? *snicker the second*

Managed to get home on Sunday at 9-ish from a ride from a local SoCal KoLer with whom I shared a pleasant conversations with, (and who I thank again) and that was all I suppose. The detail fo the whole AZ trip are available for those who want stories =)


But I had a good time. Again only regrets have been that I didn't take NEARLY enough pictures, didn't get to say hi and very much importantly goodbye to many people and that I couldn't stay longer, if forever. But there are other meets, other events and at very least almost next year. Not only did I have a good time but I feel I did good on this trip. Again ask me why later. Only thing that would have topped the trip sides from more time and more people was one person. But neither here nor there, I promise pics will be up soon. Earliest perhaps would be Friday as work is a harsh mistress.

I will be around and I am and will remain to be,



Kain

In keeping with the "thinking about my future" thing, I wanted to see about applying to Blizzard here in Irvine, CA. Problem is I never have written a Cover Letter or a Salary/Pay History. Help?

Thnx.

Kain.

*Note that the following is only here for therapeutic purposes, needs no response and is not open to discussion. I'm having a moment and need to release. Thank you*


I've been told at times that I really have my shit together. This both true and false. I am a strong individual who despite his objections to competition and boasting, who loves to win. I work hard to win and hate to lose even more than I love to win. I lose gracefully and I lose terribly. ( My head is fucked up. i don envy the shrink... )

Damn my crippling flaws.